The 2009 Pen of the Year is a marvellous hand-woven horse hair instrument. And should you wish your own stallion to be immortalised, pluck some tail hairs and send them off to Graf von Faber-Castell, a charming member of the German aristocracy. He knows the only woman in Europe who hand-weaves horse hair. Fabulous.
Sans doute, I owe William & Son for this introduction. They put on a grand evening... New cocktail from the Connaught, a Handwriting analyst, people in Polo costumes - endlessly charming. Naturally, regulars to such events have heard it all before, but I am not. So brag I shall! I learned from the analyst that I am: brave, bold, prefer to be organised yet appreciate spontaneity. And that I am quite honest, I don't hide. True-ish. Effectively, it was a lot of compliments and whosoever wouldn't feel flattered?
Unfortunately, the quantity of champagne had a peculiar effect on me. I had no idea excess consumption of alcohol had such symptoms. Where on earth have I been? Most things were amusing, particularly the recession-proof stock at William & Son. The Perfect Pencil is a joy of modern engineering. Perfect indeed, it is naturally high-quality wood, with a special lead that will not break (quite so easily, anyway). But most entertaining is the inclusion of in-built sharpener and replaceable eraser. It really IS perfect. And you would hope so at £175. I did love one spokeswoman telling me "Everyone can afford it!". Yes of course they can. Absolutely. The logic... faultless.
By the end, the vision becomes foggier. However I take consolation from the fact I was invited to dinner afterwards by complete strangers. And I went gladly, like the sheep I am. I must therefore have been somewhat amusing, still. But it was all perfectly lovely. Of that, I am sure. But then what isn't perfectly lovely about late-night wanderings through Mayfair. I'll tell you what. Nothing.
Dear William & Son, let me know should you be recruiting!
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