Houmous and Crudités, or Champagne?

So I am feeling unwell today - sore throat and just generally disillusioned with life and myself. Even writing now, in bed wearing a scarf, I am thinking of all the things that must be done. *Coughs*

Blast. Naturally I refused to expose myself to the elements today, as I blame them for my ill-health. Though drinking the last 4 nights in a row will not have helped. A bottle of wine at home over dinner is fine, but two plus cocktails, followed by a freezing journey home do not good health upkeep.

But this did pose a problem. The fridge contained a couple of  of carrots, half a pot of houmous (week-old), spinach, 2 eggs and a pepper. Oh and a bottle of bubbly. Because that is clearly the priority. I mean what is that? So that's an omelette for breakfast (something I was just never able to master properly anyway) and some sort of dated picnic platter for the rest of the day. On a friend's recommendation, I added a whole clove of raw garlic and a little raw ginger to the houmous. Appetising? Yes/No? If that combination does not shock my system into gear, then there must be something seriously wrong. And the terrible breath others may have to endure will be for nothing. Perhaps the silver lining to singledom, nobody need see the moment of human weakness. Nobody need be repelled more than usual.

Tomorrow, I will have a choice of a carrot or the Champagne. Hopefully I will be well enough to brave the outdoors. Two days without any toast would be unthinkable. Or have I miraculously stumbled across a forgotten cure for the common cold? Alcohol! And as it is grape based, surely there must be some uber-antioxidants up for grabs. Those little hand sanitizers are almost pure alcohol aren't they, so there must be something to the stuff. Yes. Yes, I think if there is no improvement by tomorrow evening, I shall completely empty the fridge. It is almost leading me to hope my condition worsens. Obviously I don't, that would be Blatant Stupidity. Incidentally a character in one of my favourite parodies of Dynasty. I love parody. Done well, few things have made me laugh as hard.

Maybe I should try the old "laughter is the best medicine" lark. I did watch Come Dine With Me, always amusing grace a Mr Lamb. And all the soaps I have caught up with, one of the few joys of illness. Or reasons for a mass-hatred. And investigating the Zeitgeist i.e. Lady GaGa's new music video. She is a cocaine inspiration... Reason alone to do massive, solo binges if her success could be replicated. Maybe if the champagne doesn't fail, I will try that, just call up the old dealer as you do.

Yes I am clearly delirious with fatigue/boredom. Speak anon.